WE COULD BE GREAT FRIENDS!!!

              We could be great friends, don't you see that?
Us being friends would help us more than it would hurt us.
          Even with all of our unresolved issues we encountered as a couple we still managed to love each other so faithfully.  No matter how angry I've made you, you have never stopped loving me.  No matter how upset you have made me I have never not once stopped loving you.
        Why do people in love feel they need to be enemies once the romantic relationship has come to an end. Where does this misconception come from? This belief is the very reason why people that have been good friends for a period of time refuse to become involved in a romantic relationship no matter how strongly they feel for the other person. They are afraid that if the romance does not work out they will loose this person they have come to know as "FRIEND."
         Why does it have to be this way? If the person was your true friend from the get go they should always be your friend, depending on the circumstances. I am completely aware that heart break and betrayal could be a factor in the break up.  It is extremely difficult and sometimes almost impossible getting over situations that include these actions.  Maybe if we stopped allowing our HEARTS to lead the way at all times a lot of these devastation's could be avoided. When you see that its just not working out no matter what you've attempted to try, GET OUT!!! GET COUNSELING!! Do something different if what you've been doing is obviously not working.

       All you are doing is destroying any good that could be salvaged for a friendship later on. 

        Take people that are divorced with kids for instance.  You have some people that just refuse to be cordial because of what they may have gone through when they were married.  They will put their own personal emotions before the emotional well being of their children.  Do they not realize that they are teaching these children to hate and not forgive!
       You have some people that are extremely close with their ex's.
They go over for dinners and hang out as if they are still a FAMILY!!! Now that is so beautiful to me!!! Spouses getting along with ex spouses. Calling each other up to discuss matters dealing with the children and even personal matters.  Just getting along!
        
     Now I know some people may say, "I love them too much to be their friend."  Well if you really feel that way then try loving them enough to be their friend.  You never know what the friendship could lead to if you show another side of yourself.  You never know!! Maybe they may need a good friend more than anything in the world and you just may be the prime candidate to fill that position.  Don't loose out on everything just because you can't get exactly what you want and how you want it.  Trust me, I know! I've had to tell myself this over and over again.
         
            Friends now days are a rare species.  You can go a life time and never have a real and true friend that will be there for you no matter what.  Hold on to these people as long as you can.  Do it in a way that not only benefits you but that will benefit that other person as well. Be sure and hold on to the healthy parts also though.  If you keep having trouble with the romantic part of the relationship, well then that is probably the part you can do without, but if everytime you are in trouble or need someone to talk to and that person is the 1st person on the scene, no questions asked, you more than likely may need to keep that person on your support team.

            Don't allow your emotions to keep you from what you should have.

          I have a cousin that is so inlove with his ex it doesn't make any sense.  At one point he hated her all because she couldn't handle a romantic relationship with him. They had way too many issues. Their problems ended up turning them into 2 completely different people, bitter and mean most of the time.

         If you saw them out right about now you would think that they were the perfect couple but they are not in any type romantic relationship whatsoever.  They have an understanding that works for them. She helps him and he helps her.  They hang out and have fun and it works. Neither have to worry about the other getting angry if one can't provide quality time. Neither have to worry about the other going off and flipping out if the other starts seeing someone else.  Yes, they may feel some type of dislike towards the other seeing someone new. Why wouldn't they feel this emotion if a certain type of love still resides somewhere? However, because the understanding has already been established and everyone is upfront it makes the situation all that much easier.

      I wish that I could have that type of understanding with my ex. He is such a great person and has so much to offer to the world, why wouldn't I want all the good he has to offer. Why wouldn't I want to offer to him all the good that lies within me as well.

     Though this is something that I would want that surely doesn't mean it is something I will get. I just wish I could though. There is nothing wrong with wishful thinking.

THE OUTER AND INNER WORLD OF OUR SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!

              Today I was reintroduced to a concept in which I am already familiar with. I guess you could say that I was further enlightened.

   Our topic of discussion today in my EDU1010 class circled around peoples inner self images and how it affects their behavior subconsciously.

      The first example was battered and abused women.
Have you ever wondered why women stay in abusive relationships?

Recent statistics show that over 70% of abused women, whether it be emotional or physical abuse, will stay in the abusive relationship. The other remaining percentage will leave the relationship only to end up in another abusive relationship.
    I know what you're thinking, are these women stupid or something? To be quite honest most of these women seek out these abusive relationships without even knowing it and not even wanting to. They are merely placing themselves in situations that are familiar and comfortable to them. Now why would anyone view abuse as comforting?  The large majority of these women were abused earlier on in life and somehow managed to blame themselves for what happened to them.

  There couldn't be any other reason as far as they are concerned. In their eyes it had to be their fault. They just weren't worthy. Why on earth would the World gang up on them unless they deserved it? Why else would they have been mistreated over and over and over again?

   When someone is placed out of their comfort zone that person will do whatever it takes to make their situation fit the description of their own self image. THE OUTER WORLD HAS TO MATCH THE IN!!!!!!

   Have you ever met someone that loves to argue, I mean just  completely antagonistic. It seems like they get a rush from having someone to yell and fuse with them doesn't it? And it seems like the nicer you are when they are mad the worse off they become.
   They cannot accept the pleasant behavior and positive treatment. When someone grows up being constantly attacked and beaten up by the world around them they eventually accept this treatment and any other form of treatment will go against what they feel on the inside.
   This may sound crazy but when we as people are given something we feel we do not deserve we often times find ways to sabotage it or give it away. We do this all without even knowing what we're doing most of the time.

   Another example; Pro Athletes!

Majority of NBA basketball players are African American men. Amazingly over 85% of these young black men come from poverty. Throughout their entire childhood they have had to struggle with being poor or less fortunate I should say.  Going and having to be without, in most cases, was something of the norm for these men.

   These professional basketball stars now a days are making over 50 million dollars over the course of their careers yet within a matter of 5 or 6 years after leaving the NBA a vast majority of this same group of special people go flat broke. Why? Why is that?

   Even with the physical and tangible riches readily available to them these men still feel broke at heart and find the quickest way to blow it what they've earned! THE OUTER WORLD HAS TO MATCH THE IN!!!

   These men still feel poor. Having all of this money is not a normal way of being for them. We all eventually go back in our minds to what we know. Lottery winners, for instance, find the quickest way to blow their money as well. The suicide and divorce rate seems to be on the rise among lottery winners unfortunately. For someone to go from an income of $20,000 to $50,000 a year and then to millions at the drop of a dime is just unheard of.  They don't deserve that money!!! They didn't earn that money so why hold onto it????? Why has this been the common shared belief amongst these people?

       THE OUTER WORLD MUST MATCH THE IN!!!!!!!
      

FALSE TRUTHS

    SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER...  THIS MAY BE TRUE IN THEIR EYES BUT I REFUSE TO LIVE MY LIFE BY A TRUTH THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS COME TO KNOW.

   YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE TO HATE WHAT YOU LOVE AND LOVE WHAT YOU HATE??? THERE IS NO WAY I COULD BASE MY RELATIONSHIPS OFF OF THAT BELIEF!!!!!

   I HAVE A CHILD WHOM I LOVE DEARLY.  THERE MAY BE SOMETHINGS THAT HE DOES THAT I DON'T NECESSARILY ENJOY BUT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NOTHING ABOUT MY CHILD THAT I "HATE."

   I FEEL LIKE IF I CAN LOOK AT YOU AND POINT OUT THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU I MAY NEED TO REEVALUATE OUR FRIENDSHIP/RELATIONSHIP AND FIGURE OUT WHY IT IS I FEEL THIS WAY AND WHETHER OR NOT SOMETHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT FROM BOTH SIDES.  MY MOTHER ONCE TOLD ME THAT IF YOU LOOK AT A MAN AND ALL YOU SEE ARE HIS FLAWS THEN YOU NEED TO EVALUATE YOURSELF.

   WE TEND TO REFLECT ONTO OTHERS THE THINGS THAT WE DON'T LIKE ABOUT OURSELVES!!!!

   DON'T MAKE SOMEONES OPINION ABOUT YOU TRUE IN YOUR OWN MIND BECAUSE ONCE YOU DO IT COULD POSSIBLY TAKE A LIFETIME TO LEAVE YOU.  FOR EVERY HARSH COMMENT SOMEONE MAKES ABOUT YOU IT TAKES 15 NICE AND COMFORTING COMMENTS TO BUILD YOU UP AFTER YOU'VE BEEN CUT DOWN.   I AM 27 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE RECENTLY WENT BACK TO SCHOOL.  YOU WOULD THINK THAT I WOULD HAVE SUPPORT FROM ALL OF MY FAMILY BUT IT IS ACTUALLY THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE.

     ONE OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS TOLD ME THAT I SHOULDN'T BE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL AT MY AGE AND WITH THIS ECONOMY BECAUSE I AM A SINGLE PARENT AND I HAVE BILLS THAT NEED TO BE PAID. YES! ALL OF WHAT THEY SAID WAS TRUE BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MAN ON THE MOON?  YOU SEE,  THIS COMMENT WAS THROWN AT ME BECAUSE THIS PERSON HAS THEIR OWN PERSONAL FEAR PERTAINING TO GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.  I REMEMBER EVEN BEING TOLD AS A CHILD THAT IF YOU DIDN'T GO RIGHT OFF TO COLLEGE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL YOUR CHANCES OF EVER GOING BECAME SLIM TO NONE!

    FOR THE LONGEST TIME I BELIEVED THIS. I AM SURE THE FAMILY MEMBER I SPEAK OF WAS TOLD AND BELIEVED THE SAME THING.

  BE CAREFUL OF THE FALSE TRUTHS YOU PICK UP IN LIFE, WHAT MAY BE TRUE FOR SOMEONE ELSE MAY NOT BE TRUE FOR YOU.

Learning To Love What's Good For Me!

                 Why is it that we take so much interest in things we should probably stay away from but we loose interest in what is healthy and pleasant in nature.  I know that some of you are probably saying that this isn't you but I can assure you that this has happened to you at some point in time.


            Think back to when you were a kid. Did you always want to eat your vegetables? If you were given a choice between burgers and fries or a salad as a child, which do you think you chose? I haven't met too many children that are huge fans of vegetables and medicine; the two things that are supposed to be helpful in nature.


         It is my belief that we carry this behavior with us into adult hood. If someone tells me that they have some new health drink that they would like for me to try I am going to automatically assume that it taste disgusting!!!! Where did I get that from? Why is it that I would assume that right off the back?


            


         This is even the same with behavior. Doing the right thing now a days can easily get you a bad wrap!!. I was known as "Ms. Goody 2 Shoes" in my earlier years of high school all because I chose to do what I thought was right. I didn't drink, smoke or do drugs. I wasn't sexually active and I tried my best to stay away from the "wrong crowd." I constantly faced peer pressure at parties. I couldn't understand why someone would even ask me why I preferred not to do any of these things.  Was there something wrong with me? Was being bad the new good and I was the bad one?


I see this behavior so much in my everyday life.


I have been proposed to at least 5 or 6 times in my life yet I never t wanted nor could I see myself marrying any of these men. Maybe I just wasn't ready, who knows? I am now at a point where I want to settle yet I allowed myself to stay involved in a relationship with someone who wasn't. Why did I do that?
  I had plenty of opportunities with relationships that were the exact makeup of what every girl dreams of yet I didn't want the source in which it came from.


Women do this all the time.  They dog out the men that follow them around like puppy dogs meanwhile chasing after the men that dog them. The same goes for men. A man will end up dating a woman that initially threw herself at him without even knowing the first thing about him. Each "easy" characteristic about this woman attracts this man.  We see a challenge and instantly something in our brain switches on. We are competitive creatures and we love a chase. The excitement from the chase gives us some type of rush that just feels great, doesn't it????


        But what happens after all the chasing has come to an end and you have your prize? You are able to do whatever you so please with your reward? You're bored!!! LOL. Why are you bored now? Where is the fun in that?? Now you're thinking about all you went through in order to win this prize and you may even get mad about it, LOL!! All that and for what? You got what you wanted you should be happy. Why do we do this? We do this because Sin is fun!! Has anyone ever told you that?  If it wasn't the whole world would be saved already and this life as we know it would be over.  There is something so awesome about doing what you were told not to do.


    Candy, alcohol, fatty foods and sex just seems to make people feel like they are in heaven. All of which can hurt you yet it is hard to go without once you've gotten a taste of it.


    Abstinence before marriage for example.  Now why would any adult in their right mind not enjoy sex?  Yea so what you can get pregnant when you're not trying to! So what you can catch an STD that could possibly kill you! So what!!! 


I enjoy good sex just as much as the next person, heck, maybe even more than the next but I refuse to allow it to control me. I have recently decided to practice abstinence and I am already having a rough time. I think about it everyday. I consider myself to be an attractive woman & I am aware that it would be pretty easy for me to get someone to have sex with me at any given time, this I know.
    To be completely honest with you I actually view the need for sex as a weakness of mine. This new way of living will be a struggle in itself.


    I am now learning to Love and Want what is best for me as apposed to what just feels good to me.  PRAY FOR ME!!